​​​Q: Why does my editor keep adding scene breaks where I don't change a scene?​

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A: Check your point of view. Head hopping, or pov-hopping, is something I've never known a publisher to accept. Every scene is written in one point of view or another, and if you start a scene from the hero's point of view, you don't switch to the heroine's point of view and back again. If you must angle the story to someone else's thoughts and emotions, start a new scene. Beware also of vanity points of view, an example below:

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     Lisa peered out the window, then abruptly jumped back. The same man who'd been staring at her all the way home on the train was coming up the front walk, and with a most distressing, purposeful stride. She clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle her whimpering, and her eyes of emerald green shone with tears.

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Did you spot the error there? She wouldn't be aware her eyes were shining. Nor would she think of her eyes being emerald green unless she was preening vainly in front of a mirror or trying to choose the right eye shadow.

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Q: What is the proper way to punctuate dialogue?​​

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​​A: The easiest way to think of dialogue is remembering that the sentence does not end until the dialogue and speech tags end. Speech tags are the "he said" and "she said" of the sentence. If you end the sentence with a speech tag, it doesn't matter if your character's speech is a question, an exclamation, or a declaration--the full sentence continues to the end. Dialogue punctuation goes before the ending quotation marks, and if a speech tag follows, it's not capitalized because it's not the beginning of a new sentence.  Some examples of proper punctuaton:

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"I'm going to the store," Mike said.                                                 "Are you feeling all right?" she asked kindly.

Mike said, "I'm going to the store."                                                 "What big teeth you have!" he remarked.

"I'm going," Mike said, "to the store."                                              "You could have mentioned that earlier." She fidged and glared at him.

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Notice in the last example that what follows the dialogue is not a speech tag, and so it wasn't included in the preceding sentence. Keep in mind that things like fidgeting, glaring, sighing, laughing, and nodding are not the same as speaking. Most publishers won't let you get away with using them as speech tags.

NB: ​Speech tags are only needed if there are more than two people having a conversation, or to prevent confusion if the dialogue goes on long enough to make your reader unsure of who is speaking. As long as it's clear who is speaking, and how they're speaking, you don't need a speech tag. To avoid overusing them, have your character perform some kind of action immediately before or after speaking. In those cases, speech tags aren't needed.

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Q: How do I "show" instead of "tell" my story?

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​​A: One way of doing this is to avoid overuse of adverbs. Don't tell your readers how your character does something by using words like "happily", "moodily", "slowly", "nervously", just to name a few. Rewrite to better describe how your character feels so you don't have to rely on adverbs. Compare the two examples below:

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     Mary gave up reading, angrily blowing the hair out of her eyes.  She set the book down on the table noisily, and crossed her arms over her chest, staring moodily at the clock.

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​     Mary's lips moved as she read the passage for the sixth time.  Glancing up at the clock, she frowned and turned back to the page, trying to concentrate.  She forced the sound of the clock's ticking away from her consciousness, determined to wait him out.
     Her peripheral vision showed her a hangnail she hadn't realized she had.  Biting at it, she tried once again to find her place in her book, irritated that what was once an interesting story could no longer hold her focus. She growled deep in her throat when her eyes snapped back to the clock.  The minute hand didn't seem to have moved at all; surely twenty minutes had already passed?
     Sticking her finger in the book to hold her page, she walked nearer to the clock, checking for any sign of movement.  It was an excuse to burn off nervous energy; the clock wouldn't be ticking if it were broken. She tossed the book down to the table and crossed her arms over her chest.  Pacing back and forth in front of the bay window, she blew her hair out of her eyes, watching the empty drive.
     He had to come home sooner or later...

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​Which passage above reads better? Notice how the first one uses three adverbs in two sentences. The second passage uses none, yet it better conveys Mary's emotion, and we know the man she's waiting for is in big trouble.

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Another example of telling instead of showing might be when we stick to a time-line situation:

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     First he unlocked the door, then he tossed his keys on the table. Next, he picked up his mail and then finally tossed his coat on the chair, frightening the cat, who took off toward the kitchen with a yowl.

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Now let's see if we can fix that.

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​     He bounded up the steps, unlocked the door, and tossed the keys on the table. Thumbing through the mail, he didn't notice his cat relaxing on the chair until he tossed his coat over her. Startled and offended, she took off toward the kitchen with a yowl.

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​Q: What's the difference between active and passive writing?

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A: Passive writing is when things happen to the character or setting. Active writing is when the character makes things happen. Active writing is more powerful, more decisive, and far more interesting.

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     Her eyes rested on the bookcase, where she'd put the ledger. She reached up and pulled until the book fell into her hand. Making herself comfortable on the sofa, she opened it, the pages moving quickly until she found the right entries. Her heart thumped harder when she saw the evidence before her.

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Let's reword that so she can take responsibility for her actions.

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     She looked over at the bookcase, where she'd put the ledger. Reaching up, she grabbed the book and made herself comfortable on the sofa. She rifled through the pages until she found the right entries. As she saw the evidence before her, she could feel her heart thumping.

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